I think I need a roadsweeper.

We were playing at toddler group this morning. It had been a very fractious (i.e., hideously unpleasant!) start to the day and it was a moment of calm following some stormy periods. Joshua had a little bus to drive around the town mat that he was playing on. He then gave me a vehicle to play with too. It was a roadsweeper. So I duly made a sort of 'gvvvvvvv' sound and trundled it around the roads on the mat, driving very slowly in order to get them nice and clean and holding up the bus in the process.

And then it hit me (no, not the bus, a thought). Maybe sometimes we need a roadsweeper in front of us to slow us down a bit. Maybe sometimes we don't *have* to do everything quite so fast. Maybe life needs its slower pace too. I know mine does. The more I thought it, the more satisfied I was with the whole 'gvvvvvvvv' thing and going at a slow speed. As a roadsweeper, you can't work at top speed, because at top speed you can't work (get it?).

Art failure.

I'm having to come to terms with something.

We're not going to be able to keep all of Joshua's artwork. I have just been looking at a piece of paper with a sort of greeny-browny sludge effect on it and concluded that it has to go. We've got a big house, but I'm guessing that over the years there's going to be far more artwork than even we can hope to store and archive. I always think it's always wise to keep stuff like that (even if it's just for when they make the movie of our lives - they'll need the props, I tell myself). But I think on this occasion, I've got to accept that they can't be a need for quite as much as we seem to have accumulated. One coloured-in snowman, perhaps, but is there really a need for multiple versions? And half of Joshua's 'earlier work' is just my artwork that's been scribbled on top of, and I'm sure no-one needs to see that...

Still, manage to feel bad nonetheless as greeny-browny-splodge-work drops out of my hand and floats down into the bin...

If there are any people out there who want it, you'll have to be quick...

Beaten by a draft excluder.

Yes, that does read 'by' and not 'with'.
Joshua's loving the game 'Shhh, don't wake dad' at the moment. It was given to him for Christmas by one of the girls. He's now beginning to get the hang of the rules (though still ignores them...). However, at the outset, it was a case of talking him through the entire game. It's mercifully quite a quick game though. I have to point out that I did win the first game (yes, I was playing fair!). However it was downhill from there. The second game was won by Joshua, who only just beat me to the finishing line (which in this game is a fridge). It got worse though. He decided that Mole and Teddy needed to join in the action. So I was taking charge of making sure Mole didn't cheat, and Joshua was keeping an eye on Teddy. Mole is a draught (draft) excluder, Teddy is ... uh ... a teddy. Of course, we had to spin the spinner for them, but they did help move their pieces around the board. The inevitable happened though. Mole won. I could see it coming too, and was almost overcome by the temptation to cheat to enable one of the non-stuffed-toy players to win, but managed to resist and instead accept defeat at the hands (?!) of Mole.
Ah the joys and burden of responsibility!

Just a couple of quick ones from Joshua.

I'm aiming to write a blog in all three of my blogs today - rash, I know, and quite unlikely too, given that I'm running out of hours. I'll also need to find my phone, to take a photo, otherwise there will be no addition to the 'Manmade' blog...

As avid readers will know, I'm in the middle of tax returns. It's now the turn of Anna's, and once again the guest room/study looks like the aftermath of a bomb in a filing cabinet. There's more paper than carpet. Joshua walked in earlier, examined the floor and said, "can you tidy this messy up please - it's not very clean in here."

And then just now, bedtime prayers (what is it that makes bedtime prayers such a rich source of humour?!) I asked what things we could thank Jesus for today. He was a bit flummoxed, and the conversation went on:
Me: We went to the p p p p p p p
Joshua: POST OFFICE
Me: yes, and sent presents to people. Who came to visit us too?
Joshua: ELSIE! (Yes, he was shouting all his answers)
Me: yes, and what other things happened today that we can say thank you for.
Joshua: I peed my pants.
Me: Uh ... yes sweetheart, but we're not going to be very thankful for that!

Ok, so the Bible does tell us to be thankful in all circumstances, but really ... that?!

I almost died of boredom.

Yes, it's true. In fact, three days running I almost kicked the bucket due to extreme (almost unprecedented) levels of boredom.

Why?
Two words - Tax Return.

However, I was dead chuffed with myself when I submitted my self-assessment online last night. I felt all grown up (it's the first one I've ever done, and I think my brain was trying to justify the time taken by injecting a burst of pride into the equation). However, I didn't feel so great this morning when I realised that I'd done my sums a bit wrong. I halved something part way through an equation (which was fine, because it's a joint asset) and then I halved it at the end of the equation (which would have been fine if I hadn't already done the halving earlier) with the result that I had a figure that was too small. (Remember we're speaking financially here!).

The good news was that it meant I would end up paying less tax (by about £175) the bad news was that I had to resubmit in order to change the figures. So I went back to the drawing board (well, the computer, strictly speaking) and totted it all up again. It was part way through doing this that I realised I'd got some other figures wrong - I'd merrily added up all the months for the tax year, when I should have only included those where we weren't residing in our own house. D'oh. This changed the figures again and meant that I wasn't saving about £175, I was saving about £13. Unlucky for some, as they say! I can now understand why people pay other people good money to have their tax returns done for them. Oh well, just another reason to count down to retirement. My next job is to do Anna's return :(

But through it all, there are three reasons why I'm more than happy to pay my taxes:
1) Joshua
2) Mum
3) My old job


On an altogether lighter note. Another point of amusement (I don't think I've mentioned this one yet - forgive me if I have and I hope you find it amusing a second time...)
For some time now, I have had this conversation with Joshua every night:
Me: I love you,
Joshua: I love you too,
Me: I love you lots,
Joshua: I love you once.

He seems dead pleased with himself for saying it too. I like to think that he believes it to be a 'trumping' of my loving him lots, but I always go away wondering if I should be pleased or slightly offended :o) Sometimes he even holds up one finger, I guess to drive the point home. (Don't worry, I love it really, but it does amuse me every time)

Apologies for the lack of photos here - I could have one of the study floor as I was doing the tax return (well, more the paper on the floor than the floor itself, which was pretty well hidden), but then some criminal mastermind will read my post, see the photo, zoom in, get all my bank details and steal all my money. And I wouldn't want that to happen.
I could also have a photo of Joshua during his nap today - he'd left the siren on his Fireman Sam book running, opened his curtains, and then gone to sleep with a pair of trousers on his head. I could have a photo of that, if I'd taken one, which I didn't. But having said that, maybe I'll put a couple of others of him in bed... (and no, they're not set up - it's just some of the weird stuff he does when left by himself for more than about 12 seconds).

Happy not-so-New Year

Thankfully, I didn't make any rash New Year's Resolutions about blogging daily. In fact, I haven't really made any NYRs at all. My thinking is that I'll get around to making them when the dust of the holiday has settled somewhat. That way I can make some that are a bit more carefully planned than, 'Argh, seven-and-a-half minutes 'til the New Year, what should I promise myself?!'.

Had a lovely New Year though. I'm currently having a facebook conversation with a friend who refers to his New Year as 'insane'. I told him that I would have been most upset if my New Year had been insane (perhaps it's linked to the fact that I'm twice his age...)! Thankfully ours was very calm and orderly. So calm, in fact, that we forgot to set off the fireworks. Oops. A civilised roast dinner, followed by a few games of 'Snatch'. Rounded off with a nice bit of fireworks-on-the-telly and a glass of champagne. Even cracked open the bottle of Chateauneuf du pape. Very nice stuff. Silky smooth, in fact!

That was preceded by a couple of really nice visits to see old friends, (old in the long-standing sense, not in the long-in-the-tooth sense). North Wales was, as expected, grey, cold and somewhat wet, but brightened immeasurably by the renewal of friendship, occasional cup of tea, and roaring (well, more flickering actually) fire. Birmingham was also cold, but likewise was uplifted by the friendship and tea motifs.

And before that, of course, came Christmas. A Lewis spectacular: fantastic food, and a wonderful family Christmas. A highlight for me was the suckling pig (sorry if you're reading this Clare M...). In particular, Joshua wandering into the kitchen, seeing said pig in a tray about to go in the oven, and announcing, "I want to eat his nose!". No sign of vegetarianism breaking into his lifestyle! He was also taken by the disappearance of the sherry, mince pie and carrot left for Santa and co., and by the appearance of footprints in the ash by the fireplace. Ok, so the footprints were barely discernible despite being the work of a number of people and a fair amount of time, but the rest was good! Joshua was a huge fan of his new kitchen that mummy and daddy and granny and pops gave him. As you can see, he's cooking up a storm already.



And yesterday (apologies for the topsy-turvy chronology of this post) we did this:
I say, "we", but I have to say I'm the only one who saw the project through from start to finish. It was the (very well chosen!) gift of one of our girls. Anna and Joshua initiated the construction, but then abandoned ship on me. I think perhaps I was being a little over-enthusiastic about getting it 'just right' (though you might well question whether I actually succeeded...). A prize for the person who can spot the five differences between the two otherwise identical pictures...






Anyway, it's now a long long time since I actually started writing this (it's 20.42 now...) so I'm going to stop there. Joshua is now in bed, and I'm thinking of going out for a spot of sport :) Happy New Year to all of you. (All five of you, that is. I was hoping I might have hit 10 followers (not literally, you understand!) by 2010, but maybe I'll have to wait until 2011 for that)